Ritual As A Tool During Pregnancy by Cat Marti

Pregnancy, I've found so far, is such a journey inwards. 

Maybe it's because of the pandemic? We have all retreated into our own bubble one way or another this past 15 months, be that socially or professionally. Limited contact with our close relationships, communities and support networks coupled with working from home has changed everything, for better or worse. I've spent a large chunk of that time feeling isolated, from family, friends and sometimes reality. Occasionally through choice but mostly through circumstance. 

Or maybe it's all the self-reflective work I've been doing these past five years through yoga, meditation, and tarot. Perhaps as a result of that, I was always going to have a very introspective pregnancy?

Managing energy, not time, is something we could all benefit more from doing, and this has become increasingly important to me during pregnancy. Time, during the pandemic, has taken on a whole new dimension. Weekdays and weekends merged into one. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner became chores rather than ceremonies. Family quizzes over Zoom became tedious and tiresome. Netflix binges turned into endless scrolling in search of something new to watch. News and stats became all-consuming. Where have those last 15 months gone?

When I found out I was pregnant back in February, all of a sudden time became everything. 12 weeks, 20 weeks, 9 months, 4 trimesters...everything to be measured against a number. Time can easily become an energy vampire if you let it. I have tried to focus on keeping my body and mind vital, and free of outside influences. The one constant that has remained throughout, is ritual. Finding the tools to make the journey as manageable and positive as I can. Some things that have worked for me are:

Getting the right nutrition for myself and my baby
This was difficult in the early stages when I wasn't feeling so good. I remember worrying about what I was taking in, but my midwife was just happy that I was keeping food down at all! Mercifully I was never physically sick, although I did feel nausea at times. I am blessed to have a husband who cooks yummy, healthy food for us from scratch and my appetite has returned with no real cravings, as yet.

Dinner at the table with my husband
This time together, away from screens and devices, for us to debrief our days, share how we're feeling and make plans is something we've always tried to do, even pre-pregnancy and pre-pandemic. As I've mentioned I'm not the cook in our house, but I help with food prep and of course do the tidying up. This simple ritual of sitting down to eat together seems like a lost ceremony in today's modern world, at least the pandemic has given us the time back for this important part of our days.

Regular yoga and walks
During the first trimester, I lost all impetus for yoga, I literally couldn't bring myself to the mat, which was so disheartening and frustrating as it has played such a healing role in my life for the last six years. Mercifully, normal service resumed during the second trimester and I am back to a daily practice, even if that's just 15 minutes, albeit my movements look very different to pre-pregnancy. I am listening to my body and honouring what it needs, taking this time to connect with and make (literal and metaphoric) space for my baby. Walking is also a really important exercise for me and I intend to stay mobile for as long as I can!

Finding my aligned community
I was really worried about missing out on connecting with other mamas-to-be due to the Covid restrictions where we live. All antenatal classes have been moved to online and I felt sad that I may not get the opportunity to make those potential life-long friends that I've seen others make through pregnancy and motherhood. Thankfully restrictions have eased and I have joined an in-person, weekly pregnancy yoga class which is such a wonderful exchange of energy and support. I've also found my voice online, joining campaigns for pre and post-natal rights during Covid. I was even interviewed on local radio recently which resulted in a government response!

Learning and informing myself on all aspects of pregnancy and birth
I knew from very early on in my pregnancy that information and knowledge would be the key to unlocking anxiety for me.  I am inhaling all the information I can about birth and labour, reading books, joining supportive and positive Facebook groups, and working my way through a hypnobirthing course. Although I'm still apprehensive about birth as a first-time mum, I also feel empowered because I have learned all about the level of choice we have as birthing mothers. 

Releasing people who deplete my heart energy
This is a big one! When I first announced my pregnancy I was inundated with lovely messages of congratulations and support. I felt really special. But what began as enthusiasm soon became apathy from a lot of people in my inner circle, for whatever reasons. I must admit that I did take it rather personally and let myself become upset, which is not an energy I can afford to entertain and certainly not one I want to carry for my baby. I spoke to a few people to let them know how I was feeling and that helped, but some friendships remain strained and I have had to accept that. Heart energy, particularly during this summer season, needs protecting. Finding expansion, connection and joy are all ways to contribute to this. 

Creative activity
Creative activity is a real catalyst for joy and expansion. I have spent recent evenings painting positive birth affirmation cards to hang up in the house and take with me to the hospital when the time comes. I've also made a macrame decoration for baby's room and my husband and I have enjoyed picking out colours and seeing the room come together (but he feels less joyous about the flat packs!). I keep a little journal where I make notes about my antenatal appointments, how I'm feeling, and things I am noticing through this transformation. 

Rest
From quite early on sleep has been a challenge. First, there was general insomnia, and now in these later weeks there's the development of pelvic girdle pain which is worse for me when trying to manoeuvre around the bed at night. I do sleep cosied up to a huge bolster pillow but with the summer heat some nights are very restless. I'm making sure I am having breaks during the day when I'm working and not taking on too many tasks at any given time, despite having a seriously long to-do list! In these final 6 weeks I feel sure that I'll need to prioritise more time to relax and restore, especially during the time the Germans call Zwischen - the time of in-between, those last few days of pregnancy.

I like to define ritual as routine with intention. Be clear on your intentions and create a routine full of rituals that will see you through this time of endurance and wonder.

I am a first time mama-to-be living in Wales with my French husband. A recently qualified yoga teacher influenced by Traditional Chinese Medicine, qi gong and mindfulness, I move through the world using ritual as an anchor to guide and ground me. I love being outdoors, particularly near the sea, and find inspiration in nature. Also an aspiring writer and podcaster, I have a deep interest in all things wellness, pregnancy, parenting, culture and the natural world. I am extremely grateful to YZM for giving me the opportunity to share my musings here, and hope to share more in the future. You can find me on Instagram @catmarti_yogi