My Experience Being a Mother by Michelle Grace
Image credit: Theresa Balderas
If you had asked me what I imagined motherhood would be like before I became a mother, I would have said, “It’ll be just like in the movies. My child will enrich my life and give me the fulfilment I’ve always been looking for.” And, though those things are true, the answer is missing the most important point: Motherhood isn’t about the mother.
It’s about the child.
Once you have a baby, your life is now completely different, forever. You have to put them first and understand that their needs come before yours. That’s why new mothers so often feel depleted and exhausted. But nobody said this was going to be easy.
My life, which used to be so fast and free, suddenly became very basic and grounded when I had my child. Life slowed down. I was now there for every smile, every feeding, every cry. As a mom living in New York City, I had a lot of other city moms tell me to hire nannies and take my child to day care. They said, “Prioritize yourself,” which I understand. In fact, I was afraid of the demands motherhood was putting on me.
But I think that letting that fear hold me back was my biggest mistake. In the end, what saved my relationship with my child was reminding myself that the most important thing I could do for her was to be there for her, always. When she knows that I’m right here for her, she can thrive. So, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how badly I want to run away, I remind myself to always tell her:
“I’m right here.”
And that’s why I wrote I’m Right Here, my first children’s book. It was inspired by me following my instincts and recognizing the “I’m right here” moments with my daughter, realizing that nothing really matters more than coming back to her, being there for her needs, and putting her first.
When you have a child, you discover they’re the reason there’s a star atop a Christmas tree. As a new mother, your life lights up when you have a baby. Children give us such joy. And we have to return that joy with our commitment as mothers.
A strong parent-child connection is a bond that anchors children in life. They need that love and that presence to grow up to be healthy adults and know what a good relationship looks like. Children develop caring, empathy, and understanding of their emotions to guide them through their feelings and experiences.
Being present, being there for children is just the greatest gift that you can give them, and yourself. It gives them that safety, that security, that grounding. When they go out into the world, they feel much more confident and safe. And they know they have someone who’s going to always protect them and listen to them and stand up for them. They know they can always count on you.
It’s so important for mothers to stay connected to their children and their motherly instincts. Because when a mother has a healthy attachment to her child, and the child has a healthy attachment to her mother, you’re going to be producing neurologically better human beings. And that’s just better not only for humanity but the entire planet Earth.
Always being there for your child isn’t being controlling or a helicopter mom. It’s the most important way you can care for your child. It’s staying in love with them and answering with love and compassion. Hopefully, my book expresses these sentiments in a way that will enrich both mother and child. Its delicate verse is meant to strengthen their bond and make them both appreciate and enjoy their relationship with one another.
When I see kids away from their moms too much, or emotionally detached when they’re together, they seem to have a blank stare in their eyes. The book can be a reminder to all mothers, even in their busiest moments, to come back and reconnect with their children, reminding them that “I’m right here.”
Michelle Grace is the author of I'm Right Here and My Wild Imagination, illustrated children's books that invite families into a world where curiosity, connection, and creativity lead the way. She was born in Brooklyn and now lives in Manhattan with her daughter. She draws inspiration from the city’s creative energy and through her books encourages parents and children to nurture imagination and build meaningful connections. Website: www.michellegraceofficial.com/ | IG: @michellegracestory . I’m Right Here is intended for ages 4-8 and will be available on Amazon beginning on October 6th.