How To Help Your Child Safely Release Emotions by Jacintha Field
Photo credit: @_in_the_flow_
As we’re all aware (very, at times!) our children, just like us, have feelings and emotions. However, they often need guidance on how to process, move through and release big feelings and emotions. Whether it’s helping kids adjust to the unknowns of a life-changing event such as separation, or learning to deal with day to day life and the challenges that arise with being human - whether they’re big or small, teaching your kids how to safely process, move through and release emotions is an invaluable tool to have in their toolkit as they grow and evolve. There are many ways we can do this:
Be there
When a child is experiencing a big emotional release, the best thing you can do is allow that release to happen by staying close to them, even if that means just sitting at the door. Big releases can be a lot for you and them and result in aggression. For example, if your child hits or punches, say, "I will not let you hit me, that is a boundary, but I am here for you. I can handle your big emotions." You can hand them a pillow or punching bag to use. Giving them the tools creates a place of safety.
Find your joy
Find the joy in what lights your child up. For us, it was singing and dancing. We would belt tunes so loud that the neighbours thought we were having a dance party. We would smile, laugh and forget about everything. In those moments, it was just him and me. To this day, we use music to cheer us up.
Breathwork
When tempers begin to flare, breathing exercises are one of the most effective calming strategies for kids who are dealing with difficult emotions. There is a lot of power in a deep cleansing breath.
If big releases occur, I encourage you to let them happen first. When your child is calm and self-regulated, then introduce breathing practices. I encourage you to make these playful.
Different practices relate to emotions. For example, I use Lion's breath when Axel feels angry. He then learns to relate the two.
I have created a Kids Wellness and Mental Health Platform called Happy Souls Kids (details at the bottom of this post) to share the breath practices we use. These practices you can do together.
Art Therapy
Art provides children with a way to communicate thoughts or feelings that may seem too dangerous or complex to spell out with words. So I highly encourage using art to express emotions. Allow your child to pick colours that resonate with them. Invite them to draw what they are feeling. Allow them to tap into their body and feel. The artistic creation can encourage a deep discussion. Ask your child why they used those particular colours and what they can see. Be curious.
Get out in nature
The first thing I do with Axel if he has a moment is to get him out in nature - the beach, a park, a garden. Wherever I can to ground him. Axel has become very accustomed to my ways, so he is often very reluctant when I suggest this and states, "I hate the beach". Every single time post-beach experience, he walks away happy. So we discuss that. "How did you feel after school?" "Angry mummy". "How do you feel now?" "Happy". We relate feelings to experiences, so he learns. "So, how does the beach make you feel?" "It makes me happy". This, therefore, teaches him subconsciously when he is older to go for a walk or go to the beach when he is having a moment.
Yoga
Yoga is a practice that creates stillness to calm a child's mind. When doing yoga, children exercise, play, connect more deeply with the inner self, and develop an intimate relationship with the natural world that surrounds them. Yoga brings that marvellous inner light that all children have to the surface.
Meditation
A regular meditation practice can help kids read and respond to internal signals of stress before their developing brains and bodies give in to a full-blown tantrum. The key is intuiting what your child needs to come back into balance and giving them the tools to practice.
For more tips, I invite you to follow:
Happy Souls Kids
www.happysoulskids.com
www.instagram.com/happysoulskids
www.facebook.com/happysoulskids
For my journey you can follow me here:
www.instagram.com/jacinthafield
www.facebook.com/jacinthafieldhs
If you'd like to read more about my separation, you can do so here.