Folks We Love with Maddy Tyers | Author, When Anna Came To Stay
Most recognisable from her recent appearance on the hit reality TV show Lego Masters Australia, Maddy Tyers is an actor, presenter, children’s entertainer, voice-over artist and writer based in Melbourne.
Away from performing, Maddy is passionate about sharing her lived experience of an eating disorder and body image positivity with school students and parent groups for the Butterfly Foundation. Sharing her experience with young Australians and seeing the impact that it has was the inspiration behind When Anna Came To Stay. We caught up with Maddy to learn about her story, hear all about her powerful new book and discuss the important message behind it and how she addressed this in the book.
Before we get into the book, can you please share your story with us?
Hi guys, my name is Maddy and I am an actor, children's author, dabbler in reality-TV and a self-confessed Lego lover from Melbourne.
As a child, I loved dancing, playing dress-ups with my friends and spending my school holidays down at the beach with my family. I was outgoing, creative and adventurous but I also had an incredibly sensitive side. The age of eight was also when I first began to develop an unhealthy relationship with food and toxic behaviours around eating, but it wasn’t until I was sixteen (and in the tight grips of anorexia nervosa) that I was hospitalised and officially diagnosed with a debilitating eating disorder.
It took my family and I many years of heartache, countless hospital visits and endless therapy sessions to find the appropriate road to recovery. I often reflect on the many years we spent navigating the mental health system, unsure of where to go or what to do, and wonder what direction my life would have taken had we detected the illness much earlier and intervened before it took control.
What was the driving force behind bringing When Anna Came To Stay to life?
The number of people in Australia with an eating disorder at any given time is estimated to be around 1 million, or approximately 4% of the population (Deloitte Access Economics, 2015). They are manipulative, debilitating and harmful mental illnesses that are becoming more and more prevalent in younger children. Statistics show that eating disorders can affect people of all ages but are increasingly being diagnosed in those aged 5 years and younger (NEDC, 2017). These figures were one of the main drivers behind penning ‘When Anna Came To Stay’.
When Anna Came To Stay is such an incredible book with a very important message, can you share more about it and the key messages throughout the book?
‘When Anna Came To Stay’ will give readers an insight into the complex thoughts and feelings associated with negative body image and poor self-esteem. It aims to give readers (both young and old) a glimpse into the family dynamics involved when a person experiences an eating disorder and highlights the need for family members to be sensitive and prepared to provide support during the healing process.
What was the collaborative process of writing and working with the illustrator like?
Collaborating with the incredibly talented Brisbane-based illustrator, Siobhan Skipworth was an absolute dream. Siobhan and I live in different states and have never actually met in person but have managed to forge a wonderful friendship and connection through the development of WACTS. After only a handful of meetings, Siobhan knew exactly the tone I was looking for in the illustrations of my book, especially when it came to the portrayal of ‘Anna’ and her relationship with May. I am hopeful that the incredible work Siobhan has down with the imagery, will open up an honest dialogue between children and their guardians about the importance of talking about their feelings and asking for help when they don’t feel they can cope.
What inspired the character and how did you break down the serious nature of the topic of the book into digestible bites for young readers?
Living with an eating disorder or anorexia (‘Anna’ – as I like to call her) is like having a second voice living inside your head. The voice of ‘Anna’ is incredibly overbearing, aggressive and loves nothing more than to belittle you every waking moment. As time passes ‘Anna’ grows stronger but so does your dependency on her. Before too long you and ‘Anna’ have morphed into one entity and separating yourself from her is almost impossible.
This separation of myself from ‘Anna’ was one of the main tools I used throughout my recovery journey and the inspiration behind the story’s antagonist. I thought if such a simple concept was able to help me distinguish my true self from my illness, then perhaps it would be useful for a child too. As an actor and children’s entertainer who worked for the Starlight Children’s Foundation for several years, it also felt fitting to tell my story from the voice of a child, May.
The Seussian style of language and beautiful imagery by Siobhan will hopefully make the complex discussion of self-esteem and negative body image much more comprehendible for young children and their families.
As a writer, where do you find inspiration?
As a writer and entertainer, my biggest inspiration comes from my personal lived experiences and the incredible people and world around me. Expressing myself through storytelling has been a powerful tool in helping work through the difficult times in my life and ‘When Anna Came To Stay’ is a perfect example of that. If this book can help even one child get the help and support they need, I feel like my job is done.
What are some of the factors that influence negative body image, disordered eating and the development of eating disorders and how did you address this in the book?
There are many factors that influence negative body image, disordered eating and the development of eating disorders in people and everyone’s journey is completely unique. For me personally, after a series of big changes in my life, including shifting to a new school, I found that obsessing over my food intake and weight gave me the sense of control I craved. Soon came the positive comments from friends and family applauding my “healthy” food choices and “disciplined” attitude toward exercise. These casual asides fuelled the voice in my head that would incessantly tell me I was not good enough and that ‘eating less and exercising more’ was that right thing to do. This is the narrative that is played out for my young protagonist, May.
What is your advice when it comes to encouraging young people to celebrate their bodies for what they can do rather than how they look?
You are so much more than your body. We are all put on this planet as wonderfully unique individuals with different qualities, talents and strengths. Imagine how boring the world would be if we all looked and acted exactly the same? Diversity is beautiful and celebrating your body for what it can do rather than how it looks is something to be proud of.
Can you share a self-care tip for young readers who may be struggling with body image?
If you feel you are struggling with negative body image, take a moment and breathe. I find slowing down and being in the moment (practising mindfulness) a really great way to get my thoughts in check. Once you have taken a moment to pause, try focussing on an activity that makes you feel good about yourself (ie walking your dog, listening to music, getting creative) then try and allow those negative thoughts to pass. If you are still feeling unsettled after spending some time on a peaceful activity, reach out to a friend or family member and tell them how you are feeling. A problem shared is always a problem halved.
What helped you on your journey with an eating disorder?
I was incredibly fortunate to have the support of my wonderful family and a fabulous medical team throughout my recovery. Aside from the support of those around me, learning to feel comfortable sharing my struggles with others and realising I was not alone was the biggest step in my journey to a healthy attitude with my body and mind. The moment I was able to voice my feelings and speak up, was the moment my real recovery journey began.
How can parents recognise signs of an eating disorder in younger children? How can parents, teachers, family members help support a young person struggling with an eating disorder?
1.Encourage an open dialogue about body image (and its associated thoughts and feelings) with your child and try to be honest about your own feelings - this will encourage them to do the same
2.Limit discussion of diets, appearance ideals and speaking negatively about weight (your own or others included)
3.Avoid talking about your child’s appearance, even if it's meant as a compliment
4.Explain the role the media plays in our lives and that what we see on TV, magazines and social media isn’t always ‘real’
5.Encourage positive language around food (ie no foods should be labelled ‘good’ or ‘bad’)
6.Promote healthy eating habits by encouraging your child to listen to their body cues and eat when they are hungry
7.Be a good role model by eating a balanced diet and doing a healthy amount of exercise
8.Encourage them to focus on their passions and foster their talents
9.Emphasise that you love them and will always be there for them, no matter what
10.Promote self-esteem and build up their confidence – for example, praise them for being thoughtful, a good friend or congratulate them on an achievement at school
Where can people go for support and help?
There are many wonderful support resources available online for those suffering (or supporting someone) with an eating disorder, in particular the incredible work done by the Butterfly Foundation. Butterfly also host a national hotline from 8am – midnight (AEST), 7 days a week.
What do you hope the biggest takeaway for young readers discovering When Anna Came To Stay is?
‘When Anna Came To Stay’ is the book I wish I had when I was eight years old. It is a book that will open up an honest dialogue about body image and encourage those who are struggling to seek help and support. By having these conversations early, we can start to educate the next generation of children and young girls that they are strong, courageous and intelligent individuals who are so much more than just their bodies.
Where can we purchase a copy?
My first children’s picture story book, ‘When Anna Came To Stay’ is now available for purchase online.