Helping Kids Name Their Feelings: The Power of Emotional Vocabulary
Giving children the words for their big emotions builds connection and confidence.Most of us can remember being children and feeling something so strong it seemed to take over our entire body, but not quite having the words to explain it. Maybe it was anger that came out as yelling, or sadness that showed up as a tummy ache. For children, emotions can feel huge and confusing, and without the vocabulary to describe them, those feelings can easily spill over into behaviour that looks like defiance or withdrawal.
That’s where emotional vocabulary comes in. Helping children identify and name their feelings isn’t just about avoiding tantrums—it’s about giving them the lifelong tools to regulate, connect, and feel confident in who they are.
Why Emotional Vocabulary Matters
Research shows that children who can name their feelings are better able to manage them. Psychologists call this “name it to tame it”: the act of putting words to a feeling lessens its intensity in the brain. When a child can say “I’m frustrated” instead of just lashing out, they’ve already taken the first step toward regulation.
Beyond self-regulation, an emotional vocabulary helps kids:
Build empathy: Recognising sadness or worry in themselves makes it easier to see it in others.
Strengthen relationships: Naming feelings encourages open conversations and connection with parents, siblings, and peers.
Develop resilience: Children who can articulate what they’re going through are more likely to seek help, cope constructively, and bounce back.
Practical Ways to Teach Emotional Vocabulary
1. Start with the Basics
For toddlers and preschoolers, begin with simple words like happy, sad, mad, scared. These foundational emotions are easier to spot and understand. Over time, add more nuanced terms (frustrated, nervous, excited, proud) so your child learns that emotions exist on a spectrum.
2. Model it Yourself
Children learn best through example. Try narrating your own feelings:
“I’m feeling overwhelmed because the house is messy, so I’m going to take a deep breath.”
“I’m excited to see Grandma today!”
Hearing you express emotions in real time shows them that feelings are normal and manageable.
3. Use Books and Stories
Children’s books are full of emotional moments. Pause while reading and ask:
“How do you think this character feels?”
“What makes you think that?”
This not only boosts emotional vocabulary but also nurtures empathy and perspective-taking.
4. Create a Feelings Chart
Visual aids work wonders. Hang a poster or use a “feelings wheel” with pictures of faces and words attached. Encourage your child to point to how they feel each morning or during difficult moments.
5. Practice Through Play
Role play with dolls, stuffed animals, or even Lego figures. Act out little scenarios; “This bear is nervous about starting school”, and guide your child to describe what the toy is feeling. Play makes big concepts feel safe and approachable.
Meeting Kids Where They Are
Remember that every child is different. Some kids love to talk about their feelings; others may need more time or non-verbal outlets like drawing or journaling. The goal isn’t to force children into emotional conversations, but to give them access to the language and support so that, when they’re ready, they have the tools at hand.
The Long-Term Impact
Building an emotional vocabulary during childhood is like teaching another language, the language of the heart. It allows children to express themselves clearly, connect deeply with others, and navigate challenges with resilience. Instead of feeling swept away by big emotions, they grow into adults who understand that feelings are temporary, manageable, and safe to share.
At the heart of it, giving children words for their feelings is about connection. When a child says, “I’m lonely” and you can respond with comfort, you’ve not only validated their experience, you’ve strengthened your bond. And that’s where true confidence begins: in knowing they are seen, understood, and loved just as they are.