What Are the Best Strategies for Staggering Bedtimes With Multiple Young Kids? by Mia Barnes
Getting everyone to bed can sometimes be a challenge in even the most zen household, and that only intensifies if you have multiple little ones on your hands. What are the best strategies for staggering bedtimes, and how can you get the kids to sleep without burning yourself out, too?
Assess Each Child’s Sleep Needs
Get clear about how much sleep your children need. You can then work backwards from that to establish a set of bedtimes. Newborns do their own thing — roughly 11-17 hours throughout the day — but for older infants and young children, guidelines recommend:Four to twelve months: 12-16 hours
One to two years: 11-14 hours
Three to five years: 10-13 hours
Six to preteens: 9-12 hours
Start With the Youngest
The littlest need the most sleep but might also be the hardest to settle. Starting with your youngest child means you have more time to help them while you’re less frazzled. Your bigger kids will feel special about being allowed to stay up longer.
However, if your youngest is less than four months old, reverse this. Since they are likely not yet sleeping through the night, you may as well wear them or keep them close to you while the others go to bed. You can settle the baby last in this case.
Create Bedtime Boxes for Older Children
Inevitably, a sibling will want your attention just as the littlest is about to fall asleep. We’ve all been there. Your secret weapon is a bedtime box, filled with quiet, calming activities like sticker books.
The key is that it’s only available when their younger siblings are getting ready for bed. The novelty of it usually settles a slightly older child for long enough for you to focus on the smallest.
If they aren’t yet old enough to be unsupervised, take the activity box into the baby’s room or pop it in the hallway just outside. Young infants respond to higher-pitched noises like a sibling’s voice, so explain this to their siblings to show why being calm and quiet is super helpful.
Stagger Bedtimes Thoughtfully
Once the youngest is settled, move on to the rest. If they’re close enough in age to share a bedtime, so much the better. Don’t make your life unnecessarily difficult by letting one stay up half an hour later than another.
With a bigger age gap, encourage the older child to help settle the middle ones by reading to them. Youngsters may love this, and the biggest might feel very grown-up.
Give Kids Bedtime Choices
When putting your older children to bed, get them involved. Giving them choices makes them more likely to follow through because they feel more in control. One of the choices can’t be not going to bed yet! Try offering two different pyjama sets, or letting them pick out the story they want.
Be Predictable and Consistent
If you sometimes give in and sometimes don’t, your kids will keep playing bedtime lottery to see if they win. That’s not naughty, that’s human nature. Create a calming, comforting routine and kindly but firmly stick to it. Ensure that your partner doesn’t accidentally undermine it, either.
Be Kind to Yourself
Even with a strong routine, some nights will be challenging. Practice self-compassion and try to be calm. It’s easy to pass your anxiety onto your little ones, and that could start a behavior spiral.
Take the wins. On tougher nights, tomorrow is another day.
Smooth Evenings, Sweet Dreams
Staggering bedtimes with consistency helps everyone rest easier. With patience and a steady routine, you and your little ones can enjoy calmer evenings and healthier sleep.
Mia Barnes is a professional freelance writer specializing in postpartum wellness and practical family health advice. She has over 5 years of experience working as Body+Mind magazine's Editor-in-Chief. You can follow Mia and Body+Mind on X and Instagram @bodymindmag.