Let’s get real: there are a lot of things no one tells a new mama! We have compiled the main ones that spring to mind for us, as well as a collaboration of contributions from our amazing YZM community as a guide for all the new mamas! Please feel free to add in the comments below.

And, for more realness you can check out The Zen Mama Guide To Finding Your Rhythm in Pregnancy, Birth and Beyond, because we get real, vulnerable and dirty (mostly from guacamole!) and share with you all the things from experts, friends and our own journeys. From prepping for pregnancy all the way through to birth, the first twelve weeks with your newborn, and figuring out the kind of parent you want to be long-term, the Zen Mama Guide explores the struggles, joyful moments, and hard-won realizations of motherhood. If you haven’t already picked up a copy, you can order here:

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Things No One Tells A New Mama

@teresapalmer
You don’t have to listen to every piece of advice you receive.So many well-meaning friends and family will want to impart their wisdom and stories to you. Just remember no one knows your baby better than you do and what worked for one mama may not work for another. Trust your instincts, take on their advice if you want to but know that all babies are different and you’ll find your path with it soon enough.

You’ll sweat insane amounts after the birth! No one told us this! You’ll be in crazy hot sweats and soak through sheets. This can peak around 2 weeks postpartum. It’s due to the rapid decrease in estrogen and progesterone, once you’re hormones start to level out you’ll not be such a sweaty hot mess at night time! We recommend sleeping in the nuddy or in undies and a soft T-shirt crop top to help.

All the smells! If you’re a breastfeeding mama, your underarm stench will be at an all-time high even after showering and scrubbing that area! What? Why? Well because it helps your new little ball of love to be able to find the breast. Their eyesight is still developing and your stinginess helps guide them towards the sweet golden milk spot!

You might still feel like you’re in labour AFTER giving birth. Oh, those dreaded after-birth pains. They say they get more intense the more kids you have (I’m looking down the barrel of birthing my 4th in less than 2 months sooooo… ) when your new baby latches on and starts breastfeeding it triggers your uterus to contract this means it’s trying to get back to its normal size! And it feels like real contractions, they don’t generally last as long but they also don’t have a pattern to them so they can be unpredictable. I remember the first time I felt then with Forest I was sure there was something horribly wrong. Once your uterus had shrunk back down to its normal size these pains should subside, this usually takes about 2-3 days post-birth. So hang in there mama!

Meet the needs as the needs arise.Your baby isn’t going to be following a clock. All they'll want is the boob (or bottle) and a lot of it, snuggles and to sleep. As long as your bubby has enough wet nappies- at least 6 soaked cloth or 5 very wet disposable nappies in a 24 hour period plus their pee is both odourless and colourless, then you know bubs is getting enough milk. They may want to cluster feed (every 15-20 minutes) and only latch for shorter times each feed or they might sleep longer patches and not nurse every 3 hours. Every day will look different but we find the easiest way to get through this newborn period (and in fact all the periods that follow!) is to just go with the flow, drop a strict routine as it will save your sanity and help promote attachment and connection. Meet the food/comfort/sleep needs as they arise. Follow baby's cues and don’t over-stress it!

@takitee
That breastfeeding might be tough, impossible, or she might struggle with a low supply

@dawnshakti
That having a baby is a self-discovery journey for your “self”. Understanding who you are.

@samsmom1127
Even if you’re not an earth mother type, wear the baby. The use of both hands is so underrated.

@wattleanddaisy
How everything else in the world does not matter. How you are left in awe everyday!

@karamtass
That we’re all just winging it! Also, night sweats after delivery!

@s.c.osborne
You’ve also been born into this amazing role as a mother. Be kind, patient and grow together.

@johanna_robinson
How breastfeeding can be so hard at first. I always want to give up - but it gets easier!

@thebrightglowmama
Her intuition is all knowing.

@mumandalltherest
You are brave :)

@lauren.mcintire
Babies will make you a bit insane, but the second you leave them to take a break you miss them.

@s_defilio
About the insane hormones and how ‘off’ you’ll feel after birth

@emily.koche.lutze
No one told me about after birth pains

@claudia.snail
Taking a shower in peace will become much more difficult (and faster)

@theelizabethphillippo
It’s okay to be scared!

@ejaearth
Breastfeeding does hurt even if you’re doing it right. Invest in some good nipple cream and slather!

@beckymweaver
That you’ll bleed for weeks, sweat for days and how it’s nuts when your milk comes in!

@cmchurch_2000
It hurts to poop

@rosebud1117
Feeling bonded with your new baby can take a long time (from a foster / adoptive mama)

@coffeebaskett
Babies sleep all the time, just not all at once.

@jessie_may
You will lose your sense of self before finding a much stronger you.

@natalievanemmerik
Breastfeeding can be very tricky at first!

@swrightolsen
That pooping during birth is not a big deal. Everyone does it and you won’t care in the moment that it’s happening because that usually means the baby is making its way out! I cared more after when I remembered but everyone around me said it was no big deal. The focus is on baby!

Burping (mama not baby)! Well, there is a chance and I only learned this on baby 3. But there is a chance you will burp a lot during birth as the Baby is coming down. It’s a strange uncontrollable thing but I had no idea that it happens to mamas until this time and I feel I should share it far and wide cause I was pretty surprised by how much I had to burp.

That post-birth poop! Speaking of pooping, the first post-birth poop is kinda scary but don’t worry it feels more intense than it actually is. I personally do not recommend the stool softeners they offer you at the hospital unless you feel you really need them. Just kinda breath through that first bowel movement.

That every baby is unique. You will figure out your rhythm and what your baby really likes and needs. Follow your little one's cues.

That the tiredness is real. Some days you will be so tired you will drink and remake your coffee 5 times, forget to eat real food, and go to sleep with that same shirt you wore all day and yes it has spit up on it but no you can’t bring yourself to change it.

@courtwapple
Motherhood - it’s the best hood there is. Welcome to it!

@evamarinade
The long time bleeding after giving birth!

@audreymakessoil
Be prepared for postpartum hair loss and don’t freak out!

@araianalovesrainbows
Breastfeeding may be natural but is a learned skill, be calm and patient and it too will become easier.

@a_sanchez097
It’s okay for you to need your time too!

@dana.m___
How unbelievably proud you’ll be of yourself!

@sophie.rotaru
PND is nothing to be ashamed of and to seek help (I didn’t, I muddled through feeling guilty)

@emily.thames
Breastfeeding can be difficult! It doesn’t always work perfectly right away, don’t be discouraged.

@nina.lah24
Things that will work for someone else but not for you, doesn’t mean you are wrong or not perfect.

@bron_harris
You’ll feel overwhelmed and want a break, but feel anxious when others look after bubs.

@sandy_gemmell
The 3 month constipation postpartum

@laura_lu_marini
Can be incredibly isolating and anxiety provoking if you do not have good support

@not_a_star_just_a_mum
The biggest shock of parenting is facing your own childhood memories and beliefs

@sophie.rotaru
The pain of an episiotomy! Buy tucks! Wish I had known about them!

@inkamikonen
How your life truly changes completely after having a little soul you love beyond anything.

@mmjager
No matter what you feel, there is no better mumma for your bubba than you!

@coffeebaskett
Breastfeeding is an all day job!

@nicolajhall
It can be quite lonely

@franzi05_20
Feelings and thoughts - everything changes and you can see the world differently.

@lilianeagro
It takes time to get to know your baby and that’s ok. Give yourself all the time and space you need!

@ahunt13_
Breastfeeding is just as much a mental struggle as it is a physical one.