The Struggle Is Real - But No Longer Silent by Kristin Gambaccini
Through my years of motherhood (proud Mama of 8 here!), I have been a single teenage Mom, a pregnant Mom with toddlers and a pregnant Mom with teens. I have struggled with postpartum depression each time. Needless to say, I've experienced PPD in many stages of my life. I've been told by others that learn about my history of depression that "maybe I shouldn't have so many kids" if I struggle with depression. As though the depression should rule my life instead of me ruling my depression.
There have been instances where I've tried to speak honestly with fellow new Mom friends that have exhibited signs that they themselves are struggling with PPD only to be told their husband would "be so embarrassed if I ever admitted to that" or “I'm not depressed. It’s just ‘baby blues’”. It seems that society has developed a culture that expects new mothers to simply bounce back to their before-baby lives, before-baby clothes and before-baby household. Not only is this grossly unrealistic, in most cases, it’s simply not possible. This bounce back culture has failed to recognize that an estimated 1 in 7 women have postpartum depression. Meaning - it is not abnormal, and you are not alone!
With my first-born, I was ashamed of the way I was feeling. At 17 years old, I was already totally overwhelmed with taking care of a newborn alone while attempting to finish high school and work a full-time job. I had no real support system to guide me, therefor it took what seemed an eternity to overcome my postpartum depression. Honestly, at the time I didn’t even realize what I was fighting against. I had no name for the way I was feeling. I had no direction on the best way to manage it. Afraid to be seen as even more of a failure in life, I bottled up my deep emotional pain and kept the agonizing struggle to myself.
After giving birth to my second child (I was older, married and had an amazing support system this time around), I finally felt I was able to vocalize my feelings and thoughts to those around me. I was heard, I was seen, and my emotions were validated. Through therapy, medical intervention and much research on my part, I treated and conquered my PPD and continued to do the same after my next 6 deliveries over a span of 15 years.
Every Mama knows that a woman’s body goes through tremendous changes throughout their pregnancy and delivery. After childbirth, a dramatic drop in hormones accompanied by the social and psychological changes that happen when having a baby can be a recipe for disaster for many new mothers. It is past time to end the stigma of postpartum depression and start normalizing the acceptance of mental health problems as well as the treatment involved to overcome them. Just because a woman suffers from depression or mental illness, does not mean she isn’t happy, or that she doesn’t deserve to experience the happiness around her.
My biggest piece of advice for those who are experiencing these emotions is to speak out. Talk to a healthcare professional, schedule that first therapy session, join a Mom’s Group. Don’t isolate yourself and don’t ignore the symptoms. Most especially, DO NOT feel embarrassed! The sooner you begin treatment, the sooner you will feel yourself able to enjoy the moments and days you’ve anxiously awaited nine months to live with that new bundle of love you’ve created. It’s your body, your mind and it’s time to take control!
Kristin Gambaccini is a mother of 8, a home improvement DIY’er, a crafter and an author. She's the host of 'Craft Table', an Armstrong Cable Neighborhood Channel series and appears regularly on The Kelly Clarkson Show and many other television networks around the country sharing her funny "Mom” stories and crafty ideas. Find out more on Kristin’s website here and follow along on social here.