Managing Postpartum Anxiety and Societal Pressures on a Mom by Turning Inward by Carolyn Williamson

I really feel for mothers lately because the outside noise from society has gotten really loud. I experienced this deeply as a new mom. I was constantly looking outside of myself to learn how to be the ‘perfect’ first time mother. The one who gets their baby sleeping through the night right away and feeding the right amount. The mother who has everything figured out.

In the process of trying to live up to these ‘shoulds’ and expectations taught by others, I forgot about searching deep within myself for the answers on how to be a mother.

I forgot to tell myself that whatever my own journey looked like, as long as I was showing up from a place of integrity, that it was enough. That I was enough. That my son was enough.

When I couldn’t get my son to sleep when he ‘should’ or nurse like he ‘should’, I felt like I had completely failed. So in my attempt to fix the “problem”, I started trying to control everything. The constant gripping and worrying led me to a diagnosis of postpartum anxiety when my son was only a couple of months old.

During this time, I questioned ever becoming a mother because everything felt so tough. I was trying to force things to be the way that they were depicted to me through the internet and social media. What I neglected to realize at the time, was that everybody’s journey is unique and there is no ‘one size fits all’ mentality in motherhood. 

Yet there I was, having frequent panic attacks and feeling constantly worried about every detail surrounding my son’s development. I had completely lost myself in the process of becoming a mother, because I was too busy trying to live up to the conditioning that was set by society.

Very luckily, I landed myself on a self-healing journey. 

Mindfulness meditation and yoga had been two tools that I had regularly leaned on before having my son, which I had used in times of high stress and anxiety. When I started becoming more aware of my decline, I decided that my life needed to shift. With the help and support of my village (especially my husband), I made my mental health a top priority by diving deep into these practices.

Doing the inner work meant that I quickly became very aware of thoughts and beliefs that were in no way serving me; I could be aware of, and choose to let go of the ‘what if’s’ or the distorted thinking. I began to listen deeply to what my body was telling me and making space for my emotions to be present without trying to fight them away. I began tuning into my body’s need for rest and to do less.

As I began challenging myself to let go of the control, I noticed that the universe would continue to show up for me. For example, if I didn’t try and force Harvey to sleep through the night, he eventually did this on his own in divine timing. Everything became a lot less stressful when I wasn’t forcing things to happen out of expectation. In fact, things often worked out much better than my anxious mind perceived that they would when I surrendered to what was. And when they didn’t, it was an opportunity for me to grow and expand as a mother, and to keep challenging my own belief system. As I continued to play around with letting go, I quickly began to notice and trust how much I was being supported by life itself.

Along my journey I learned about Human Design and began using it as a tool for continued growth and expansion. Learning that I was a projector in Human Design deeply resonated with me, and I felt a sense of self acceptance with who I was on a soul level for the very first time in a long time. 

Self acceptance meant that I could show up and mother the way that felt intuitive and natural to me, and that this was more than enough.

This simple permission felt like a giant weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

My confidence in myself slowly came back. 

I began tuning out the noise from the outside world, and using my own body and intuition to guide my decision making. Deep down, I had always known what was right for me and my son’s journey together, but my inner knowing had been silenced for a short while.

I am so grateful that I landed on this journey, because it completely pivoted the direction of my life.  I became determined to help other moms realize that, they too, can learn to come home to themselves. With the right tools and support mothers can easily step back into their power, and begin mothering in a way that truly feels good to their soul.

Carolyn Williamson is a Mindset & Energetics Coach for Mothers + Entrepreneurs. Awakening mothers to unlock their inner wisdom, so that they can rise to their full potential

IG: @mindbody.motherhood
Free Human Design Beginner’s Guide here