How to Help Your Little Ones Face Their Fears by Mia Barnes
Fears are part of growing up. As parents, you can equip your little ones with tools to feel brave. Understand where their fears come from and how to gently walk alongside them as they face the big, scary world.
1.Listen Without Dismissing Their Feelings
When your child opens up about something that scares them, the way you respond matters. Instead of saying “Don’t be silly” or “There’s nothing to be scared of,” try acknowledging what they feel.
Say something like, “I understand the dark feels scary to you.” By naming the fear out loud, you help them process it in a safe space. Validating a child’s emotions can reduce the intensity of those feelings over time.
2. Use Play to Make Fears Less Intimidating
Play is a child’s natural language, and it can be one of the most effective tools for tackling fear. By turning something frightening into a game, you help your little one reframe how they see it. For example, if they’re afraid of monsters at night, you could create a bedtime story where the monster loves to bake cookies and dance around in silly socks.
Creativity can transform anxiety into curiosity and fear into fun. Play is also one of the key ways children learn, so using play to teach them about their fears can be especially effective.
3. Break Fears Down Into Small Steps
Sometimes, fears feel overwhelming because they’re too big to tackle all at once. The trick is to make them smaller. This is where gentle exposure comes in.
Start with the easiest, least-threatening step and work your way up. If your child is nervous around dogs, you could begin by looking at dog pictures, then waving at a friendly dog from a distance and finally meeting one up close when they feel ready.
4. Model Calm and Confidence
Children are incredibly perceptive. They can pick up on your body language, tone and even the tiniest change in your expression. If you meet their fear with visible anxiety, they’ll often mirror that reaction. Instead, show them what calm looks like. If there’s a thunderstorm, keep your voice soft, your movements slow and maybe even point out the beauty of the lightning flashes or count the rumbles of thunder together.
5. Prepare Them for New Experiences
A lot of fear comes from the unknown, and children's vivid imaginations can make the unknown seem scarier than it is. Talking through what to expect ahead of time can ease that anxiety.
For example, many children experience significant doctor or dental anxiety, but preparation and familiarity can reduce it. You can read a fun book about going to the doctor’s office or dentist, watch a cheerful video or play a song so the experience feels familiar ahead of time. You can also bring something comforting along — like a blanket, fidget toy or stuffed animal — to help them feel more at ease.
6. Celebrate Courage, Not Just Outcomes
Bravery is about showing up and trying despite feeling scared. That’s why it’s so important to celebrate the effort, not just the end result. If your child stands near a dog for the first time, praise the courage it took, even if they’re not ready to pet it yet. Over time, these moments of encouragement stack up, creating a confident child who’s willing to take on bigger challenges.
From Tiny Trembles to Bold Steps: Fears might not disappear overnight, but with patience, understanding and gentle support, your child can learn to face them head-on. Every little step toward courage builds a foundation for a confident future, and you’ll be there, proud and cheering them on every step of the way.
Mia Barnes is a professional freelance writer specializing in postpartum wellness and practical family health advice. She has over 5 years of experience working as Body+Mind magazine's Editor-in-Chief. You can follow Mia and Body+Mind on X and Instagram @bodymindmag.