Finding and Trusting Your Intuition As A Mom by Ava Paloma

Every mother is born with it. That quiet knowing - that inner voice, a gut feeling about what is right for your child, your family, and how you want to show up for your loved ones. That silent pulse humming throughout your whole being. And then the noise shows up - social media, endless parenting experts, a mother-in-law with “advice,” friends who seem to be living perfect lives. Suddenly that inner voice gets harder and harder to hear - so hard to hear that sometimes you wonder if she’s still there. Or worse, was she ever there to begin with? 

Are you there? It’s me, Ava. Don’t leave me now. I don’t know what to do… 

We’ve all been there. Lost in the noise, the chaos - one day something is good, the next day it’s the worst thing for you. We have more information at our fingertips than ever before, and yet somehow, we can feel more overwhelmed and confused than ever. How do we reconnect and trust ourselves again? 

Here are a few ways to reconnect to your intuition and build self-trust:

1.    Remembering Nature.
My family has a working farm. One of the most validating experiences is watching the farm animals give birth. Mothers and their babies instinctively know what to do. Mothers prep their nest, they know how to deliver, the babies crawl to their mother’s belly and nurse, or even start to walk. Watching this process gave me a deep understanding that we know what we need to do. Plants follow the sun. They grow in ways to make the best use of the light. We all have inner guidance - nature can help you remember that. 

2.    Pause.
In the shower, driving the car, sipping your morning coffee - even if it’s only a few deep breaths while you’re in the bathroom (if you are alone, mamas). Put the phone down. Pause. Breathe. Check in. How is your gut feeling? Say hello to her. She is there. She never left you. Even a small moment to calm your nervous system will add up over time. 

3.    Chosen Community.
Find your tribe and build real relationships. That could be family, friends, parents of kids in your child’s preschool, from their favorite playground, or activities. Build real, in-person relationships with people you like, respect, and can trust. These are your feel-good people. This isn’t about creating an echo chamber — it’s about feeling connected to real people you can share ideas with. A sounding board that helps you sort through decisions and make them your own. 

If you have people in your life who are constantly negative, spend less time with them. Take them in small doses that feel right for you - if you have to deal with them at all.

4.    Can’t Please Everyone.
Part of trusting your own gut is letting go of pleasing others. You are driving your own car. The people who used to give you directions are either in the backseat or they’ve been dropped off. You don’t have to be mean or cut off contact - you can simply make your choices. If someone offers input, you can smile and listen, smile and pretend to listen, or just nod at the end of their sentence. You do you. And remember: most unsolicited advice comes from a good place, even when it’s misguided and somewhat (or completely) useless to you.

5.    Don’t Be Afraid to Shift.
Everyone makes mistakes. Let’s just call them redirects - and they are essential. It is no failure on your part as a parent. Let me repeat: everyone makes mistakes. If you were committed to breastfeeding and then decided not to for the next child, if you had a tight sleep schedule and then became more casual - we are all constantly evolving. What worked for one season of life may not work in another. And you don’t need to explain your shift to anyone, unless you want to.
 

6.    Queen Bee.
I give you permission to be Queen Bee. You know your kids best. You are with them the most. You are the most invested in their health and wellbeing. Not your mother-in-law, not your friend with five kids, not your pediatrician, your doula, your therapist, or your husband. At the end of the day, you are the leader. You are Queen Mother. Step into that, own it, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Trusting your intuition is a practice, not a destination. Something you return to over and over again - especially on the days the noise gets loud. You will have doubts, you will make redirects, you will fall down and pick yourself back up. That is not weakness — that is motherhood. And through it all, she will be there, whispering wisdom to you in the pauses, in the chaos, in the ups and downs - guiding you home.

Ava Paloma is an actor, producer, and mother based between New York and Atlanta. She is currently appearing in national campaigns for American Express and Boar's Head, with upcoming projects including Razor's Edge and productions for Netflix and A24. She lives with her husband, producer Mike Donovan, their son Bo, and rescue dogs Ruby and Cha Cha - and when she's not on set, you'll likely find her at Wildom Farm, her family's regenerative farm in Deep Creek, Maryland. For more follow her on IG @apaloma.