Be an Inspired Playful Parent! 3 Major Advantages of Pretend Play for Young Children by Gloria DeGaetano
Pretend play is the way young children practice turning internal images into actions. By taking on different roles, for instance, they absorb various image-sets of feelings, attitudes, and behaviors. When children play, they enter the realm of the imaginal, the world of the artist and poet. This world is their home. It’s where the young mind must hang out if it’s to grow appropriately. Through play experiences, children plan and organize, predict and anticipate, take risks, reflect and experiment.
Decades of empirical research have established the multiple benefits of children’s imaginative play. Because image making forms the basis for thought and because the young brain naturally seeks symbolic experiences, play develops cognitive, emotional, and social learning.
Make pretend play your parenting priority because of these three major advantages:
1. Give Children Limited Control and They More Readily Cooperate. I stumbled on this powerful strategy when I was a single, working mother. And with two rambunctious sons, ages 5 and 3, was I ever grateful to have found it! Since my kids were not easy, I was very skeptical, but the research behind the idea was sound. So, desperate, I tried it out. I was amazed at how well it worked. You could call it, “Let Your Child Be the Boss of You for 20 Minutes in Imaginative Play,” once or twice daily.
Begin by asking “What do you want to play today?” My sons were into Star Wars so they spent a lot of time defending the galaxy. After you enter the agreed-upon play scenario, ask your child questions so that all the decisions about the play are up to him/her. In other words, your child tells you what to do. It will go something like this:
Mom: “Okay, who should I be today?’
Child: “You be Princess Leia.”
Mom: “What should I wear?”
Child: “You wear this white nightgown.”
Mom: “Great, and I guess I’ll wear these shoes.”
Child: “No, you got to wear the black shiny ones.”
Mom: “Okay, I’ve got my black patent leather shoes on, now what?”
Child: “Now you go in the space ship. I drive.”
Mom: “You manage the spaceship well. Where we going?”
Child: “I have to go see Jabba, the Hutt.”
Mom: “Oh, can I come, too?”
Child: “No, you have to stay on the ship until I get back.”
And on it goes…for twenty to thirty minutes. After that time, you take off your costume, put down any toys and become Parent again.
With control during pretend play, youngsters grow in autonomy and competence, necessary for self-determination and inner motivation. And, to my delight, they become more, cooperative too. Since children have the reins during the play scenario, they get their need for control out of their system. With the play complete, they are very happy to give those reins back to you, exactly where they belong in the real world.
2. Prepare Children for Playing Nice with Peers. Playing with your two-year-old supports later peer interactions. Research shows that when mothers play with their youngsters at 2.5 years, it helps the children six months later play cooperatively with kids they had never met. And even later at 4 and 5 years, researchers found those same youngsters while playing with close friends, were applying what they learned from their mothers two or three years previously. For instance, children whose mothers balanced sensitivity and responsiveness in play were more likely to show those same skills with their friends. If moms were sensitive to their children’s interests and requests, the children grew to do the same with their peers. The evidence continues to mount. Parental modeling during pretend play brings far-reaching results.
3. Set the Foundation for Academic Success. We know that when children play longer before entering formal schooling, they do much better academically. In Singapore, China, and Finland, for instance, three of the highest-performing education systems according to the major international ratings, the average starting age for formal education was right around seven years old. From 0 to 7, play predominated as the pathway to learning.
Research has found that pretend play also fosters an impressive array of skills that are necessary for school success including taking another’s perspective, regulating one’s emotions, taking turns with peers, sequencing the order of events, and recognizing one’s independence from others. Not surprisingly, children who engage regularly in imaginative play are more creative than their peers and often leaders in their peer group.
Pretend play gives youngsters opportunities to grow autonomy, competence and self-determination while honing their creativity and growing the foundation for academic and social success. Plus, it’s fun and energizing for everyone. Expect to be inspired by your child’s unique abilities. And encouraged by the many positive changes you will see!
Gloria DeGaetano, M.Ed., a visionary thought-leader, birthed parent coaching when forming the Parent Coaching Institute, now a global company offering Parent Coach Certification® for family professionals, coaching services for parents, and specialized programs for companies and organizations. Gloria, an acclaimed educator and author, is an innovator of family support for modern-day parents. Her unique system for helping parents successfully navigate the challenges of our tech-obsessed world is used by thousands of parents worldwide.