4 Tips for Encouraging Independent Play with Open Ended Building Toys By Sami Krasny
It’s February and you’re stuck indoors more than usual. It could be due to extremely cold or stormy weather, never ending colds, or something else - but either way you’re spending more time at home. You’ve got the toys! Blocks, dolls, loose parts galore, but your kids are struggling to play independently. It can be exhausting to participate in your child’s play all day long! We’ve all been there!
So how can we help our kids learn to play on their own? Here are some tips to help encourage independent play with open ended toys. Whether you have unit blocks (my favorite), colorful blocks, duplo, magnetic tiles, or some other kind of building toy, these tips will help your children grow their stamina for independent play! In this article I’ll refer to all of these building toys as blocks, but these tips work for any building toys.
1: Set up your child’s building space wherever you would like to spend time.
Kids (especially young children) want to be where we are. They like to work and play close to their grown ups. If your blocks are far off in a separate location it makes sense that your kids don’t play with them alone. If your child’s play space is close to where you’re spending your time naturally they will be more comfortable playing there independently!
2: Spend time with your child’s blocks
This one might seem counterproductive to encouraging independent play but I promise, it isn’t. It goes hand-in-hand with my first tip - kids want to play wherever their grown up is. If you grab your morning mug of tea and get comfy in your child’s block play space instead of the couch they will naturally come to that space as well. Just by being near their blocks you’ve drawn them in to begin play. Encourage building by simply asking your child if they’d like to play with their blocks & then reacting positively to what they create! “Wow! You worked so hard to build that! I love seeing the ideas your amazing brain comes up with!”
3: Hand them blocks
Very young children might need extra support getting started with independent building. Maybe until this point you’ve done the bulk of the building for your kids and now they expect you to take the lead. This does not mean that you should continue to build for them. You can still facilitate independent building. To help this transition my best tip is hand your child blocks to build with. You can ask “What shape block do you want to build with first?” and then hand them one. Keep passing blocks straight from the shelf to your child and watch them build. Over time children often get tired of asking for blocks or tired of waiting for you to hand them another block and they just start grabbing what they need on their own! You’ve planted the seeds of independence!
4: Ask for a surprise.
If your child is asking you to stay in the room while they play, try asking them to build a surprise for you. Say this “I’m going to go into the kitchen for a bit, would you build me a surprise for when I come back?” Then go off and do your own thing but don’t forget to come back. You can ask if they’re ready before you return but make sure you don’t make them wait TOO long, at least at first. The coming back part is essential in supporting kids who struggle to play independently, they need to be able to trust that you’ll really be right back. When you come back say “Wow, can you tell me about this?” and then after they do say “I’m going to finish up my work, I can’t wait to see how you surprise me next time.” and leave again. As you play this “surprise me” game more and more you’ll be able to leave your child for longer periods of time.
If you’re interested in learning more about block play or need help choosing a block set for your home, come check out my block play education resources on instagram @everydaywitheandj or at my website everydaywitheandj.com!
Happy building!
Sami Krasny is the creator and educator behind @everydaywitheandj on instagram and everydaywitheandj.com. She’s a progressive educator (M.Ed. Sarah Lawrence College), homeschool mom, and block play expert with over 15 years of experience facilitating and supporting block play in homes and classrooms. Sami has a passion for educating others about what meaningful, child led, block play is, how to support it, and how to uncover all of the learning that’s happening through play!
Connect with Sami @everydaywitheandj | everydaywitheandj.com