Choosing Softness in the Holiday Season
The holiday season has a way of amplifying everything. It can heighten joy and togetherness, but it can also magnify exhaustion, emotion, and expectation. For many mothers, this time of year arrives not as a pause, but as a culmination. The end of a long stretch of giving, holding, organising, and showing up.
There is often an unspoken belief that we should be able to carry it all with grace. That we should feel grateful, present, joyful, sometimes all at once. But the truth is, the holidays can be tender. Acknowledging that tenderness does not diminish the beauty of the season. It allows the season to feel more honest.
In a culture that celebrates busyness, choosing softness can feel radical. Softness might look like fewer plans and more space between them. It might mean letting go of the idea that everything has to feel special or meaningful, and trusting that meaning will emerge on its own. It can be as simple as allowing the days to unfold without insisting they look a certain way.
For many families, the pressure to create “magic” sits quietly on one person’s shoulders. The remembering. The planning. The emotional holding. While there can be deep love in this role, it can also come at the cost of our own wellbeing if we do not pause to notice how much we are carrying.
This season invites a different question. What do we want this time to feel like, not just for our families, but for ourselves?
Children do not remember perfectly executed holidays. They remember how it felt to be together. They remember safety, warmth, laughter, and being allowed to be themselves. They remember a parent who felt present, even if things were messy, imperfect, or slow.
Presence does not come from doing more. It comes from doing less, with intention.
Letting go of excess does not mean letting go of care. It means choosing where your energy is most needed and allowing the rest to soften around the edges. It means giving yourself permission to simplify traditions, to rest more than usual, to say no without guilt, and to trust that your family will be okay because of it.
The holiday season can also stir complex emotions. Joy can sit alongside grief. Gratitude can sit beside longing or fatigue. There is no need to tidy these feelings away. Making space for them without judgement allows the body and mind to settle, rather than brace.
Small rituals can help anchor this sense of calm. A warm drink before bed. A few quiet minutes before the house wakes. A walk outside when the day feels full. These moments do not need to be shared or photographed. They simply need to exist.
As the year comes to a close, this is an invitation to meet yourself with the same care you offer everyone else.
Notice where you are tired, and rest without explanation.
Notice where you are holding on, and gently release.
Allow the season to be what it is, rather than what it is supposed to be.
This holiday season, may you choose a pace that feels sustainable. May you find moments of stillness inside the noise, and connection inside the ordinary. And may you remember that the way you show up, human, imperfect, and deeply caring, is already enough.
From all of us at Your Zen Mama, we are wishing you a holiday season that feels grounding, spacious, and kind to your nervous system.
Thank you for being part of our community xoxo