Mama Thoughts in September by Teresa Palmer
This month has been a pretty hectic month full of lots of different emotions and transitions. In July we relocated from LA to Adelaide, Australia and then relocated again the last week of August to Cardiff, Wales for my work. We have always been a traveling circus but this time it came with a few added challenges.
First, it was a hard week at the end of August having to say goodbye to Isaac. We aren’t seeing him until November as he is starting up the new school year in LA. Isaac and I had the hardest time with this, we were both bumbling messes. Being a stepparent or a parent in a split family is bittersweet because you only get to see one (or more) of your children some of the time. It’s always an adjustment after Isaac leaves and also an adjustment when he comes back. It’s like a constant state of transitions for everyone, but with good, open communication we have been able to make the comings and goings feel pretty seamless. This will be the longest time Bodhi and I (and Forest!) haven’t seen him, but diving in to all the feels we go.
When we arrived in Cardiff we had to move into a new home and make it our own. We chose a big old farm house in the country with super low ceilings and carpeted throughout just for something very different from what we usually go for. With lots of incense, plants, a stocked pantry, some Netflix and a DoTerra oil diffuser (thanks Sarah-Jade for that gift! (@essential_oil_mumma), we felt pretty great. The boys have a room that they are sharing (although Forest doesn’t really sleep in there) and we did it up to feel warm and fun with fairy lights, toys, books and an art station. Mark soon got stuck into writing his next feature film, and we started settling in pretty nicely. Then, as quickly as we arrived, Mark left again to head back to LA for a much needed work trip.
In the days before Mark left, I was really emotional, feeling anxious about being so far away from each other and starting all over again in a new house, in a new job and with Bodhi starting a new school. Side note; I am so impressed by how quickly Bodhi adjusts and falls in love with each school experience- he has way more friends here than I do! It only took a few days of Mark being gone to find a routine, and for things to fall in to place.
My Mum arrived from Adelaide right before Mark left and our Aussie friend Kate came to stay with us to be with the kids when Mark is away/working and I’m filming. She is a brilliant artist (she actually designed the Your Zen Life logo) and she is using this time to get creative and paint, sketch and do all the cool things one does when they’re so rich in artistic talent. Bodhi is loving “designing” with Kate (I may be the worst drawer that’s ever lived so I’m glad he is having a new experience…) and it’s been really nice having people that I love and feel connected to, like family, helping out when I’m at work. It has helped ease the start of the new job, and I feel free to be able to do what I need to do in this role knowing that the boys are spending their time learning new skills and having a blast.
Kate also happens to be the type of person who will curl up in front of Netflix with a glass of red and watch a true crime show with me or just sit and talk about the most esoteric and thoughtful things just because she loves to go deep. She is such an inspirer, and it has helped ease the sadness of being separated from Mark. Mum and Bodhi have been connecting so much which is lovely too, we just have to work on Mum being a little more firm in her tone so Bodhi doesn’t think he rules the roost when she is around haha!
So all in all, the lessons I’ve taken away from the month are;
SURRENDER. Giving over to the experience, the newness, showing up to each day open minded and breathing in to anything that feels alarming, allowing it to pass through without judgement.
SELF REGULATION. Handing over the responsibilities surrounding the boys to other people when I’m working. Regulating emotions that come up in conjunction with that. Trusting and loving that experience for them. Honoring the changes and giving the space to Kate as well as Mum to find their own (beautiful) way with them.
ENDURANCE. Having the stamina to work full time hours (5 day weeks, 12 plus hours per day) plus having 2 children that I take over with as soon as work is finished, means a lot of mental, physical and emotional output. Feeding myself with good thoughts and nourishing food helps, but boy the jump from 1-2 children feels massive when you throw in full time work here! Finding those things that help keep me going is key (Netflix/wine I’m looking at you!)
CELEBRATION. Enjoying the victories, however small they may seem. Today was a great day at work. Today Bodhi fell asleep on his own in his room. Today Forest enjoyed the car seat the whole ride home. Today Bodhi decided he actually likes cucumbers! Today I had time to write an article for Your Zen Mama in the bath (right now weeeee!)
LETTING GO. Of the fears that feel unsettling, that take you off course; they do not serve you. I cried for hours the night before Mark left after I realized that Bodhi seemingly grew up overnight, leaving the last morsels of toddlerhood behind. I worried, have we done enough, can we do more for him, is he doing okay? Why isn’t he tantruming so much? (hahaha!) Both boys are growing up so fast, I’m just trying to observe and be there for them, allowing each to move through all the stages they’re going through without panicking that it’s going too quickly.
This months video log below;
Now on a totally random note, I’ve been fantasizing about baby number three (insert massive eye roll from Mark here!) I’m not there yet, just the curiosity seeds have been planted. Any tips from Mama’s out there on increasing your fertility during baby led breastfeeding? Leave comments on my Instagram 😉❤️ Thank you!
Also a massive congratulations and an earth side welcome to Lindy Marie Frederick, Aunty Tez loves you. Well done Brooke Stone, we are so proud of you. And Jess Coulter so excited about the newest member of the family growing in the belly. Happy thoughts and best wishes for your pregnancy! Love you friends ❤️