Dear Husband by Kelly Zajfen
I know I know I am not my 20 something year old “perfect self” as you remember. I know that the creases of my skin, the bigger size of my jeans, and the slower movement of my everyday is a different person then you met. I know that kids have decreased the margaritas and late nights we so often enjoyed. The traveling we did (man do I thank the universe we did that!) has certainly not been what we are used to. Our change and growth together is a work in progress. It is a challenge and it has been tested. I can say too that there are days I wonder and fantasize about our younger selves. That I wish that I fit into those same jeans, that I could drink margaritas and not feel a thing.
But I can’t beat myself up about the magic that is motherhood. The magic that now our two children are here. That they are incredible and joyous and the most important thing i have ever and will ever do in my life. My body may be different. My skip may be slower, and my jeans…ever so tighter… but my heart is ever the same.
I promise to keep working at the wonder that is age. The growth and challenge that comes with what that means. I don’t ever want to give up because our bodies do. But I can assure you I will be the best person I can be. The most amazing mother to your children and try my best to be the best wife. I struggle to get everything ready, everybody ready, to get my self ready, to make you feel like you are the best thing that ever happened to me… But I can try. I can try to do all of those things.
And at the end of the day, I hope you are feeling the same things. That you too are not the same, you too are a different version of yourself but you strive to understand that the “imperfections” we see in ourselves are actually the best pieces and stories of our family.
I will wait quietly as the littles fall asleep with a margarita in hand and toast to age and love and imperfections.
To many more years. To many more struggles, and to many more sizes of jeans. J
I am a wifey to an amazing husband named Julian and mama to 3.5 year old twins, George, and (my heart warrior) Lily. When I am away from my little ones, I am the owner of a beautiful little girls romper line called Little Minis as well as the co-founder of the Alliance of Moms and a Heart Ambassador for Children’s Hospital Los Angeles.