Losing Yourself in 9 Months by Nikki Anderson

I have always aspired to find the love of my life from a young age. I envisioned having a big family and finally reaching the feeling of pure contentment. What else could be more gratifying than having children?

As I grew up, graduation from university was fast approaching just as I met my husband. An unexpected move across Australia for his job, marriage, the planned pregnancy and the birth our baby boy all happened within a year. I remember rocking my newborn baby boy at just 21-years-old in the early hours of the morning feeling complete happiness but I kept questioning what my own personal path would be and whether or not my career and own self identity will ever be important again. I stopped giving myself ‘me-time’ and lived through and for my family.

Amongst a complete identity crisis, I dealt with trying to understand my own expectations but also what other people wrongfully expected and were openly critical of. Judgment arose with common thought of ‘young parents are not apt in raising children properly’ and ‘her dreams and life are over now that she has a baby regardless of her age.’ These are absolute misunderstandings people of all walks of life make. I knew my aspirations of becoming a writer weren’t diminished, if anything I felt waves of inspiration and determination to make myself proud but also my husband and son proud too.

I confided in my husband who still is incredibly supportive, and he suggested I make time each day to work on my novel, play music, meditate or write in my journal. These things are hobbies that I am incredibly passionate about, which help me to enjoy family time with true acceptance and love for what I have. I am more present, positive and thankful when I make time for my own aspirations.

A year later, my son is now a cheeky toddler who challenges and enchants me everyday. I encourage my husband and I to make time for our own goals because although being a parent is by far the most rewarding and incredible experience that we are lucky enough to share, self-fulfillment makes us all better teachers and role models for our kids.


Nikki Anderson is an Australian mama, writer, pianist, student and coffee addict. She is motivated on progressing in her spiritual journey to achieve a healthy, well balance lifestyle.

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