Dear Baby by Miriam Karsten
You might not know it, but last weekend mum and dad flew to Sydney for a leisurely break – our last interstate trip before you come along. Truth be told, I wanted to really remember what it was like to travel with only hand-luggage, no pram and watch an inflight movie all the way through. Anyway, I had a panicky moment mid-air when a bout of turbulence jolted the plane. It was probably a mere 30cm bump in the air, but it felt like much, much more to this hormonal and emotionally charged pregnant mama. In that instance, my mind travelled faster than the speed of light to that thought – how would I protect you if we fell out of the sky?
You haven’t even taken one breath in this crazy world you’re about to enter little one, yet the instinct to love and protect you is stronger than anything I’ve ever felt. How unprepared I am for that overwhelming, fierce love that will undoubtedly overcome me when when I lay eyes on you for the very first time. I expect tears – both yours and mine. You’ll soon learn that mummy is unashamedly in-tune with her emotions, so don’t let them startle you. I’ll be the first to teach you about happy tears and sad ones, and how much better it is to let them out than bottle them up; and that more than making you feel vulnerable, feelings are what make you alive.
I simply cannot wait to meet you my darling heart – you’ve been longed for well before the day you were even conceived – you’ve always been that twinkle in my eye. My promise to you, is that I will always try my very best to be the wonderful mama you deserve. I will fail at times, but as you will learn when you take your first steps in life, that it’s the way we deal with our failures that matters. Also know that you have family all over this wonderful country you’re lucky enough to be born into that will love you unconditionally. That you belong to something greater than just you, and that there will always be a safety net. So go ahead my love, and reach for the stars.
I’ve loved every minute of carrying you close to my heart for the last 35weeks and learned that having the ability to conceive and carry you is truly one of the greatest blessings on earth, and one I shall never take for granted again. Even as I write this, your little foot is sticking into my ribs, and with every movement of your head, my bladder feels like it’s going to burst and if I lie down, the acid reflux threatens to rise to the top of my throat. Yet none of it matters. And as I’ve watched my body change to accommodate you, I know it’ll never be the same, but if that’s the trade off for you, then how lucky am I?
Thank you for already bringing so much joy to our lives as we wait in anticipation to meet you – you’ve bought mum and dad even closer together, even though your nappies will undoubtedly drive a stinky wedge between us. How we hope for the very best for you, that our failings as parents won’t hinder or impede you and that at the end of the day, no matter what, you will always know just how much you are loved.
Until we meet,
Miriam is a step-mama, new mama and the alter ego behind Miss Bunting – a website for those who love parties and entertaining. With over a decade working in PR & Marketing both overseas and Australia, Miriam now lives in Adelaide with her husband, and can be foundattempting to grow an organic veggie patch.