It was in a moment of uncertainty that gave me the idea to start Relax & Breathe. I had just voluntarily left my job and had no idea what I was going to do next. Still to this day I describe that decision as a bad financial decision, but a good decision for my mental health. I was talking with my mom one day and while we were having the conversation, I started to spiral just thinking about all the challenges and stresses I was facing. She turned to me and calmly said like she does anytime I would get like this, “Ashley, you need to relax and breathe.” And she was right. Just the simple act of breathing and redirecting my thoughts released the tension in my body. As I sat there starting to decompress, I was thinking about how I could distract myself for a little while. It was then that things started to fall into place.

I started to think about friends of mine that were going through similar challenges. Worrying that they are not spending enough time with their family, but also feeling completely drained and burned out at the end of the day. There seems to be a stigma out there that making time for yourself or practicing self-care is a selfish act. There is an idea out there that mom’s have to be able to “do it all”, and that somehow self-care doesn’t fit into that equation. In reality though, practicing self-care is what can help keep you going. It’s the famous saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” It’s about recharging ourselves so that we can give back to others. Self-care gives us the opportunity to give more to others and helps us to be the best version of ourselves.

It can often be a challenge to identify what self-care means for you, and I don’t really think there is one answer for this. I know personally, I enjoy crafts and perhaps watching one of my favorite tv shows, but for my friend it’s taking a long bath or reading a great book. One of the things that I wanted to do when starting to create the Relax & Breathe subscription box, was to help people discover new things and perhaps they would find something that really works for them. The other reason why I liked the idea of a subscription box, is because I like the reminder. I am a list person. At any given moment of the day I can have many things pulling for my attention, so I find it helpful to have a reminder to take a moment for myself. That way I feel like I don’t get behind. They say that when you realize you are thirsty, you are already dehydrated. I feel the same is true with self-care, when you finally feel like you just need a break, you are already drained. But by making it into a routine, you can attempt to curb the burnout.

Now I would be remiss if I didn’t mention how much I love my family and friends, and how grateful I am to have them in my life. So, I knew that I wanted to add something in the box that celebrated those bonds. In each box you can find one thing that is meant to be given away, shared with loved ones, or even a stranger. I believe this adds to the self-care process because of how wonderful it feels to see the joy on someone else’s face when you surprise them with a little something. It’s these little things that I believe are not celebrated enough in our busy world but have a tremendous impact on people’s lives. It is all too easy to become focused on the negative things that are happening all around us, but when someone goes out of their way to show you kindness, that can change the whole mood of the day.

If you are one of the thousands of women that are struggling with self-care, this is my small piece of advice to you. Try new things, and when you find what works for you, try and make it a routine. You don’t need to spend a lot of money or reinvent the wheel, start out by taking a minute to just breathe. Eventually you will find what works for you. You might even find yourself becoming more engaged with your kids, your significant other, and the world around you.

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*We are giving away a Spring and Summer box of Relax & Breathe. The spring box ships out mid-March, and the summer box will ship in mid-June. In each box you will find 7-8 hand selected items to help you relax and unwind. Open to US residents only. Giveaway ends March 22 at 11:59 PST. Winter must be following @yourzenmama and @relaxandbreathebox

Taking a Moment to Relax & Breathe by Ashley Desjardins